Why Aoshi Never Drinks Sake
by Crazy Koneko
Summary: Misao coerces Aoshi into drinking sake, causing the man to rage out of control. PG-13 for a reason, faint of heart do not read. NOT HUMOUR. There seems to be some confusion about that...Update after holy-cow-nine-month-or-so-hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

Why Aoshi Doesn't Drink Sake

By: The Silly Koneko, not in possession of Rurouni Kenshin

Note: This is a fic that I've had in my head for a long while, but never got around to. Then I happened to read a funny lemony fic, and thought, you know, might as well. And it started out to be a one shot funny, but....it went wrong. And now it's angsty. And soon to be multi-chaptered. I wrote it today and haven't checked it, there might be something wrong with it…

"Oh come on, Lord Aoshi!"

"No."

"Why don't you ever have a sip of sake?"

"It causes me to be sick."

Really, that was why. When he was 16, he'd had one small cup and passed out, and he didn't like the way he wanted to act when that vile liquid filled him. When he woke up, he threw up.

"Oh...well, certainly a sip wouldn't hurt!"

Aoshi looked at the now-17 year old in front of him, wondering how she'd gotten away with getting sake in the first place. Leader of the Oniwaban-shu or not, Misao was much too young to have access to alcoholic drinks.

"What if it was diluted?"

"No."

Of course, this was the third night in a row Misao tried to get him to drink sake. He should have never told her that he was intolerant, because now she was curious to see just how intolerant.

"I guess I'll just have to go off and have a bit by myself, then."

"Misao, you shouldn't drink sake. Put it away before I have to tell Omasu or one of the others that you have it."

"They're all gone off on different errands right now and won't be back until it's really late. So why don't you try some? If you really do pass out, they'll just think you're sleeping!"

"Why do you want me to drink sake so badly?"

Misao shrugged. "I'm just curious, I guess. I mean, doesn't intolerance have something to do with body mass and all, and you're one hunk of a - "

She clapped her hands over her mouth, blushing. Why didn't she ever think before she spoke? Everything that popped into her mind just spilled out of her mouth!

She's much too impulsive. She acts like she's always got a bit of sake in her, saying everything and revealing all. Although, he thought, it was interesting to know what went through that mind of hers.

Still blushing, Misao decided to take the initiative and put down two sake cups. One for her, and one for Aoshi. If she couldn't get him to drink one way, she would have to appeal to his sense of politeness.

Picking up the sake jar, she poured some into Aoshi's cup. Etiquette demanded that he do the same for her.

Aoshi stared for a moment. Either allow himself to dig a deeper hole, or be rude to a girl who looked up to him? He blinked. How did she trap him like this?

Misao looked expectantly at Aoshi, who continued to stare at the sake jar. He could pour it, just not drink, but it was also rude to have someone drink alone.

Especially a woman.

Not that Misao had come into womanhood yet - but she was almost there, enough to make him feel guilty about being rude. Well...he could take just one small sip...

Aoshi picked up the sake jar (Misao's face lit up) and poured sake into her cup.

One sip...could he hold himself together? He couldn't remember how many sips he'd taken before he started to get a certain behaiviour that shamed him. Not that he'd had oppourunity to carry out what he'd wanted to do drunk...but now Misao was here...

Misao picked up her cup, looking at Aoshi. After much more hesitation, he did the same.

She brought it up to her mouth, and slowly Aoshi followed suit.

She sipped.

He sipped.

A long moment passed, and Aoshi felt a familiar sensation...the same one he'd felt when 16 years old, alone with a cup of sake. It wasn't good, that sip was a little too long. He misjudged what he had intook then...

"Misao," he started to say, a drunken slur already creeping into his voice, "You need to go now..."

"Why, Lord Aoshi? For goodness sake, you're already drunk!"

She took his cup away from him, and set it next to her.

"Be...cause..."

He leaned forward, the liquid overriding his common sense.

Misao, having never seen Aoshi do much more than imitate an icicle, was surprised at the movement. He always sat up straight, no matter what! Now, this was interesting - no way she was going to leave!

"Because why, Lord Aoshi?"

"I can't...control...myself..."

"I don't think anybody can stand up straight when their drunk."

She took a few more sips.

"Not...that...way..."

He suddenly reached forward drunkenly, grabbing Misao by the shoulders and pulling her close to him.

"Lord Aoshi?"

"I tried...to warn..."

Misao, not quite straight herself after a drink, was unable to get out of the grasp of Aoshi. The working part of her brain told her that this was what she always wanted, and the logical part couldn't come through.

"Aoshi?" she said, in a small, innocent voice.

His grip on her loosened, and he let her go. Misao looked up at him and wondered what he had been warning her about - so far he'd just given her a rough hug, but....soon found out exactly why he'd let her go. Sake steering his brain and his hands free, he pushed Misao back and grabbed the front of her shirt.

Something clicked in Misao's slightly addled mind, realizing what was going to happen. She started to struggle, but couldn't move. Aoshi ripped off her shirt top, leaving her bare from waist up.

"Aoshi!"

The former leader of the Oniwaban-shu pushed the poor girl back onto the tatami, and climbed onto her. He grabbed her chest with his rough hands, his inner demons possessing him to do things otherwise confined to his subconscious. Aoshi kissed her forcefully, to the point of pain on Misao's part; he continued down her neck, continued until...

His hand hit something on the tatami, and he paused. A cup of sake. He wanted more...Aoshi reached for the cup, spilled it - but an amount remained, an amount enough to twist his mind around to do the commit the one of the ultimate acts of evil -

Misao looked at Aoshi, tears in her eyes. She tolerated alcohol better, she felt everything he did, it sobered her - and made it worse, much worse. He hurt her in the worst way possible, with his savage treatment...

He finished taking in the last of the sake, and got up.

Is...it over?, Misao thought. Would he only go so far, even with drink?

Aoshi reached down and practically shredded what was left of her outfit, leaving her bare. She tried to get up, to run, but he was too strong, too fast, and he grabbed her and threw her back to the floor. He yanked off his jacket, his shirt, everything, throwing them into a corner, and turned to Misao. Her small body trembled with fear, shaking more as he came closer, as he climbed on top of her, as he forced her legs apart...

"No!! Aoshi!"

See what I mean when it turned from funny to serious?


	2. Chapter 2

Why Aoshi Doesn't Drink Sake

By: The Silly Koneko, not in possession of Rurouni Kenshin.

And a special thanks to Deadly Diva, whose review made me think over this chapter. (Now it's a slight bit more interesting…) But now I'm afraid she's going to be disappointed!! Wah!!

And as per request, I posted soon…and I haven't checked it yet, either...

a

a

Misao tried to kick, she tried to shove, but Aoshi was too heavy, too strong. In his drunken state, even, she was no match for him – her senses, too, had been dulled by that vile drink. She tried to reach for the sake bottle, _something _to hit him with, but it was out of her grasp. An inch would save her, it was so close! Her forearm was too short – if only Aoshi didn't have a grip on her upper arms!

She squeezed her eyes shut as he came down, his breathing heavy. Terror rose within her, one liken unto nothing she had ever experienced. Closer and closer, she could feel him against her, pressing – and then –

He paused.

Aoshi, in his drunkenness, stared at the girl below him - whose arms he had pinned to the floor, whose delicate body had already been spread too far – and a lucid thought reached his brain.

'Why am I doing this?'

As soon as the thought came to him, Aoshi knew that if he didn't hold on to it, he would do the unthinkable. Minutes passed, and he struggled.

"Why am I doing this?"

"Why am I – "

" – doing – "

"I will lose – "

" –everything –"

" –lose – "

Misao looked up at him as he murmured to himself, shaking his head back and forth erratically.

"Lord Aoshi?"

He jerked his head toward her – a sound – what was he thinking? What had he been thinking? His mind wavered, and lost. Instinct took over, consumed him, his body forcing its' way over logic.

a

a

Much later that night, around 8 'o clock.

Aoshi opened his eyes, his head pounding.

Where was he?

His vision wavered, and god, he felt nauseated, sicker than he'd felt in a long time...Why? What had he been doing? Aoshi tried to collect his thoughts, trying to remember what he had been –

That sake - why did he even have sake?

Aoshi moved, and someone cried out. Misao! That was Misao, that was her cry – no! It all rushed back to him, no! - he attacked Misao, defiled her, he couldn't control himself - he raped that poor thing, that girl that adored him...

Looking up, he saw that he had a grip on something - Misao's arm. Looking at her as his vision returned to normal, he saw bruises all over her body, deep purple bruises. Her hip was bent at a strange angle - God, what did he do to her?

"What have I done?" he cried out, his voice husky and cracking. The shields he put up around himself, hiding emotions, feelings, shattered into the night.

Aoshi Shinomori cried for the first time in over ten years, and the tears fell and disappeared as though they contained his dignity. Every drop took something out of him, drained him of the shreds of humanity that he barely clung to in the first place. He was worthless, he was scum, he was nothing.

Misao looked up, her eyes and face red from crying; Aoshi caught her gaze and saw in her eyes something that he had never seen before - hatred.

Pure, burning, hatred.

He'd taken everything from her, her virginity, her love, dignity, even her childhood! She trusted him...oh, how she had trusted him and now he - he had -

He let go of Misao's arm, the skin beneath his touch nearly black with bruises left from the force he had used. Shaking, he got up, backed away; he found his clothes and awkwardly tried to pull them on.

"Misao...I am sorry. I -"

"I hate you! You –you monster! "

Words that stung, words he deserved.

Unable to cope with the magnitude of what happened, Aoshi left - he needed time to think. He couldn't bring himself to touch her, help her get up, get dressed, he was nothing but a coward, running away from responsibility...what would he do now?

He would no longer be welcome here...

a

a

"Oh, look! It's Seijuro Hiko!"

Omasu and Okina were out grocery shopping. Hiko turned, and recognized the two.

"Do you know where Misao is?"

"Why, Misao? She should be in the Aoiya - what do you want her for?"

"She took a jug of my sake!"

"A jug of your sake? I wonder why Misao would do such a thing." Okina said.

"Oh, don't you remember, Okina? When Lord Aoshi mentioned that he was very intolerant of sake, and Misao started to bug him about it?"

"Aoshi? Drink sake? I doubt it, he's a...very bad drunk."

"Ahem," Hiko cleared his throat, "I want it back."

"Well, let's go then, and I'll give Misao good talking to when we get back!"

a

a

Misao, after seeing Aoshi leave, tried to get to her room.

No such luck - her hip had been dislocated, and the effort tired her out. Numb with shock at what just happened, and unable to yet comprehend the magnitude of the events, she grabbed what remained of her clothing. Exhausted, she fell asleep.

As they headed toward the Aoiya, Omasu asked, "How do you know that Aoshi is bad at drinking? Have you seen him drunk?" It was very hard to imagine the stoic man tipsy.

"Well...he told me why one day. When he was 16, he tried to drink sake. It made him very sick, and as he put it, 'gave him shameful thoughts and emotions.'"

"You mean drinking makes him horny?"

Omasu and Okina sweat-dropped.

"Well, essentially, but...he put it in a more tactful manner."

a

a

They arrived at the Aoiya.

"Misao! Get down here immediately!"

No answer.

"Maybe she's gone."

"Let's take a look around, first."

Hiko stood at the door, waiting, and Okina searched downstairs while Omasu looked up.

After a few minutes –

A piercing scream let loose throughout the entire building, nay, the entire _neighbourhood_ -

"Oh my god! Misao!"

Omasu's scream brought the two other men in seconds, and even they couldn't find words to describe what they felt.

a

a

"So, you came back here to look for Misao, and you found her here?"

"Yes, Officer Fujita. We don't know who did this to Misao, or even who was capable of doing it- she hasn't woken up yet."

Hajime Saitoh had been ready to go home and enjoy dinner when Omasu had come running into the police station. Being as it was serious when the Oniwaban-shu needed help, he was obliged to come.

Soon, everybody was back at the Aoiya - all except Aoshi.

"So, if any normal man can't overpower the weasel girl, and almost all of the Oniwaban-shu are accounted for - either we have a new villain on the loose, or there's the only Oniwaban member who hasn't shown up yet -

"I'M SO STUPID!!!"

Saitoh was interrupted by a loud scream.

"She's awake, then."

Saitoh walked into the room at a brisk pace, and without knocking he asked, "Who did this to you?"

No reply.

He looked at the quivering, crying girl, curled up into a ball and bandaged all over, and decided to change his tact. A little more softly (as soft as his voice would allow, which wasn't much) he said,

"What happened?"

"I – I was -"

A pause.

"I won't tell you!"

Saitoh pulled out a cigarette. "Why not?"

"Be – cause I - …I don't want to!

"Fine then. I'll put out a warrant for Aoshi Shinomori's arrest."

His statement brought the ire of everybody in the room.

"She didn't say it was him!"

"How can you automatically blame Aoshi for such a low act? He has more dignity than that!"

Puffing casually on his cigarette, he replied, "Who else would she try to protect by being silent?"

Misao let her head fall as everybody else looked back at her, waiting for her to disprove what Saitoh said. Eyes looked expectantly at her, disdainfully at Saitoh, and then she spoke.

"He...he's right."

The Aoiya was immediately in an uproar. Aoshi Shinomori – self-controlled, dignified Aoshi Shinomori - raped a young girl, of all people Misao?

a

a

"How will we find Aoshi? If he doesn't want to be found, it isn't possible."

"If Shinomori doesn't show up in a few days, I have a few people in mind who could be of assistance. I believe that they'll be coming in a few days, anyway, upon hearing Makimachi's predicament."

"Ah, true. In fact, I think Omasu has already sent a telegraph to Kamiya Kaoru, and the rest are sure to follow."

"The tanuki girl?"

"She and Misao are good friends, and Misao needs all the help she can get…"

Saitoh puffed his cigarette as he contemplated the events of the day, and Okina left.

a

a

Dammit, and I wanted to write a funny story.

I guess not...next chapter will be Misao and Aoshi's feelings toward the event, and their reactions.

This is turning into quite a long series, actually. The way the plot is going and all…


	3. Chapter 3

****

Why Aoshi Never Drinks Sake

By: The Silly Koneko, not owning any part of Rurouni Kenshin

__

The next morning…

Misao woke up, and wished immediately that she hadn't. Pain washed over her, every movement, every twitch provoking a sensitive bruise. But along with it…came a new kind of pain.

It was emptiness, it was loneliness, it was despair – all rolled into one jumble of mixed emotion. The only person she had ever loved had brought her to the lowest point of her life –

__

- and it was all her fault.

How could she have been so stupid, so childish? Aoshi had told her that he couldn't hold his liquor, but no, was that good enough for Misao Makimachi? Of course not. She had to be her idiotic self and prove him right.

Oh god, Aoshi. What was he going through right now? Last night she hated him, but now…now she could think straight. She had caused this whole mess, and he was going to be the one who had to pay.

She was so _stupid_…

…

…

Aoshi opened his eyes once more, this time finding himself laying deep in the forest. His memory had started to go on the blink from lack of sleep. He was disheveled - his hair was filled with leaves and bits of dirt, his clothes wrinkled, and the faint smell of vomit clung to him.

After running from the Aoiya last night, he came here. The horrible event played back in his head over and over, with more clarity each time. And every time, a wave of sickness came over him - a wave of guilt so strong, he doubled over with the weight of it. Misao, the darling Misao, always happy, always full of cheer – would she ever forgive him? Could she?

__

No, he thought, _I don't deserve her forgiveness_. I shouldn't have given into drinking that sake, there was no way she could have known…

He felt empty. Knowing that Misao no longer cared – it affected him in a way he never thought possible. He had taken her for granted, taken her love for granted and he hadn't even realized it.

Now it was all too painful a fact.

Even in his nightmares, he wasn't free of his mental anguish. All night, he tossed and turned, Misao's voice crying for him to stop, her cries of pain, everything that he had stupidly ignored. He had given into the drink, given into the lust it caused.

Another thought struck Aoshi – he had his life ahead of him, but would anybody else even love him? He was a rapist, a murderer…most women only lusted after him, but none had true devotion. Devotion like Misao's.

Devotion that was forever lost.

…

…

"Misao…would you like some breakfast?"

"No."

"Misao."

"Go away, Okina."

"You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

Okina sighed. Misao, no matter what, never lost her stubborn nature. Omasu came in behind him, carrying a trey of food.

"Take it away. I'm not going to eat it."

"But Misao…we made this specially for you."

Okina and Omasu paused. Omasu set down the trey next to Misao, and picked up the cup of tea. Misao disregarded her actions and stared at the ceiling.

"Well…at least have some tea."

"No."

"It's for your own good."

"No."

"Okay," Okina sighed, "I'll put it to you bluntly. The tea is made of…special herbs. And…"

"And what? What are they supposed to do, make me eat?"

"No. They…discourage pregnancy. Just in case…you know…"

Misao blinked, and looked at Okina. She hadn't thought of that, and now that she did…what would happen to if she did turn up – well, with child? Aoshi would certainly never come back, and if he did, Saitoh would have him in jail in an instant.

Omasu saw the frightened look on Misao's face, and handed her the cup. Struggling to a semi-sitting position, she drank.

…

…

After drinking the tea, Misao felt more like eating. And after the girl had her fill, she fell asleep.

"Do you think it will be enough?"

"I certainly hope so. We only had enough money to buy just that much, for one cup."

The herbs that Okina bought were very, very expensive, and even then they didn't always work. All they could do was wait, hope, and pray to every god they believed in.

…

…

__

Mid-day.

Aoshi's stomach growled loudly – he hadn't had anything to eat since lunch yesterday. He wouldn't go into town; most likely everyone had heard of his actions.

In his mind, he deserved any pain he received. After all the pain he caused Misao, retribution was necessary. Perhaps he could simply stay out here and starve himself to death…

He had turned into such a coward. He couldn't bring himself to face anyone, and now he was considering death instead of taking the punishment for his atrocious behaiviour. Aoshi sighed, and wished he hadn't left his kodachi in the Aoiya.

Was it really worth living anymore? He had nothing to give him hope, no reason to stay alive – time and time again he had been shown that by living, he could repent. But Aoshi had tried that road before, and failed miserably.

…

…

"Look! It's a message from Omasu!"

"Hurry up and open it, ugly!"

Kaoru backhanded Yahiko, then opened the envelope. The whole Kenshin-gumi watched as Kaoru read it.

"Well, read it to us, Missy. We wanna know, too!"

"Miss Kaoru? Is something wrong?"

"Misao…she…she was"

Kaoru had turned deathly white and her hands shook as she handed Kenshin the telegram. He read it aloud:

"Misao raped. Please come to Kyoto.

- Omasu "

Everyone stood there in shock, all of them wondering who could have possibly done that to Misao. She was such a strong little thing, how in the world could she have been overpowered?

…

…

In sleeping, Misao dreamt.

And in dreaming, she faced nightmares.

The love of her life attacked her - only in this dream, it was much more violent. Time and time again her subconscious created an alternate reality where Aoshi hated her with a passion, and had no qualms about showing it in the worst way possible.

She could see hate in his eyes, reflected upon her own. She wanted to forgive him, but the hate consumed her from the inside, it refused to give into her feelings.

The hellish nightmare finally ended with a kodachi through her stomach, and Misao woke up screaming.

Omasu ran to her side, and found Misao wide-eyed, clutching her stomach.

"O – Omasu…nightmare…he…he stabbed me…"

"It's alright, Misao. It was only a dream…only a dream…"

…

…

Aoshi stumbled through the forest, his head down. Insects attacked him, animals spared a glance, but he didn't care. He was nothing. He had no dignity, deserved no respect, and every thing that defined his being was gone.

Gone was the cold stare; it had been replaced with hurt and anguish, filled with desperate emotion. Gone was the perfection, gone were walls that held back the fire that had been quieted for so long. He had nothing – he amounted to nothing.

Finding a clearing, Aoshi stopped for a moment.

__

Where was he?

The surroundings were unfamiliar, but what did he care? Dying alone in the woods didn't frighten him in the least…

The weight of his thoughts, the burden of guilt, lack of sleep and food – Aoshi Shinomori collapsed.

…

…

"Now this is something I didn't expect to find on an afternoon stroll."

…………………………………………………………………

Diese ist eine traurig Geschichte, ja?

This is a tragic little story, isn't it?

I dunno, I know where I'm going, have no idea how to get there.

Sigh…


	4. Kapitel 4

Why Aoshi Never Drinks Sake

Chapter 4

By: The Silly Koneko, who doesn't own Rurouni Kenshin but does have a few explanations for this story. Like about how Aoshi got drunk so fast – all will be explained in time.

And sorry for the long wait; I got a new kimono and had to make a few things for it…AND THEN my computer decided to crap out. For a month. And I lost my train of thought, and did not update for…a few more months. Man, did I disappear or what? But yeah, yay! I've been on ff . net for over a year now.

The story might not make sense, however, notchet. In addition to not having read my own words in over nine months, I haven't seen anything Kenshin in a looong while, either. In addition to a complicated plot.

:3

…

It was a lovely afternoon. The sun shone, birds sang, flowers bloomed, the wind danced over the trees, and the sky…erm…blued.

_No verbs for the sky, then_, thought Seijuro Hiko XIV. It was still nice, though, which is why he decided to abandon his pottery for the day and go on a walk instead.

Not to mention it cleared his mind of the picture of the beaten and raped weasel girl. He wondered if they had found out who did that to her – he had left before the police arrived, agreeing not to say anything. (Receiving, of course, two more jugs of sake in reparation for the one Misao took.)

There was one place in particular he was headed towards, actually. A clearing in the woods, where every student of the Hiten Mitsurugi style had fought with their masters at least once. Just over a few low-lying trees there could be seen a wonderful view of Kyoto, and the place always looked as though it had remained untouched by human hands.

Finally, he arrived. Taking in a deep breath, he could smell the fresh, earthy smell…and…tea? Wait, not just tea – it was intermixed with sake, and a sour bit of vomit.

A drunk tea drinker?

Following his nose, he found the source – and was both surprised and not. No wonder the smell of tea reached his nose before the sake; Aoshi Shinomori practically inhaled the stuff by the gallon.

But sake?

"Now this is something I didn't expect to find on an afternoon stroll."

This was a story he _had_ to hear an explanation for. Taking care to keep his brilliant white cape from getting dirty, Hiko picked Aoshi up and brought him back to his home.

…

…

When Misao woke up, the Aoiya was silent. It was sometime in the evening, perhaps about seven-thirty, but the silence was of no help to the inner demons that Misao tried to quell.

An hour passed.

Okina's comment about her potentially carrying a child filled her with fear and…for some reason, excitement. A part of her still loved Aoshi, despite the events, the nightmares, everything. She had dreamed about being with Aoshi from the time she was young up until now (although the subject matter left less to the imagination directly in proportion with age).

But fear had thrust its claws deep into her heart - violently seizing it as her love committed the atrocity that now consumed the essence of her being. No longer was she the carefree girl, nor would she ever be again. It was a part of her childhood that was forever lost.

The excited part, although existant, was very smothered; the thought of being unmarried and carrying the child of a man who very likely wouldn't be coming back wasn't the most pleasant one.

_No. I'm not with child. _

Misao made up her mind. She would will herself from having one, if she had to. Even if carrying Aoshi's child had been a long-time dream of hers (although that dream usually included being married), it would inconvenience everybody, and she wasn't having any of that.

…

…

Aoshi woke up, immediately suspiscious – this wasn't where he had fallen – his eyes snapped open, and he heard a conceited chuckle.

"Finally, you're awake. You've been out all afternoon."

He snapped his head around to see the man who called himself Himura's master.

"What am I doing here?"

The long rest had cleared Aoshi's mind, and now he wasn't clouded by those distracting emotions.

"I found you."

_How much does he know? _Aoshi thought.

"Although I must say, you do smell of sake."

And that's all I wrote, about nine months ago. I'll upload this for now, collect my thoughts and pick up the story later, but I figured I may as well bring this up again. (Oo Although I still got comments during the over-long hiatus.)


	5. Capulito 5

Second half of Chapter 4, we're just going to call it "5"

Aoshi woke up, immediately suspicious – this wasn't where he had fallen – his eyes snapped open, and he heard a conceited chuckle.

"Finally, you're awake. You've been out all afternoon."

He snapped his head around to see the man who called himself Himura's master.

"What am I doing here?"

The long rest had cleared Aoshi's mind, and now he wasn't clouded by those distracting emotions.

"I found you."

_How much does he know? _Aoshi thought.

"Although I must say, you do smell of sake."

Deciding to let the man run his course of deducement, Aoshi simply stared back at Hiko. Hiko stared back for a while, and after receiving no response, he continued.

"Now, if I'm to put two and two together correctly – you are the one who raped Misao, correct?"

Aoshi kept his stare, but a minute change in his demeanor – noticeable only to a perceptive few, mind – but confirmation enough. The evidence was enough already, but Hiko wanted to know how Aoshi took the event; after which, then to decide what to do with him.

"Answer."

Aoshi opened his mouth to make some kind of retort, but found his voice to be stuck in his throat.

"I-"

Just getting that word out was a stabbing pain to his heart. What was this? He couldn't even admit to his own failing?

"Troubling you, eh?"

Stares followed.

"I know what you're doing. You're willing to answer, provided you look cool doing it – no emotions for Mr. Shinomori, here. Confess, or I turn you in to face your friends, Misao, and the law."

Aoshi glared at Hiko. He would not bring himself to a sobbing mess in front of such a man – he would be a laughing stock among the outcast, the only place he could possibly hope to belong anymore. But to face Misao and the rest of the Oniwabanshu, that would simply have the same effect.

"Well?"

Aoshi took a deep breath. "I – was –" It was a strain to keep his eyes unwavering, a sick feeling came over his stomach, one of ultimate regret. He could admit to himself that he had done it, why could he not confess? There were things he regretted before, but none, none could compare to the personal scale that this one brought him to his knees for. "I was the one who – who –"

" – raped – "

A cold stream crawled its way down his face, and his voice caught in his throat. This would not get the best of him, he would not allow himself to deteriorate any further –

* * *

Misao woke up again, this time to a less-lonely Aoiya. She must have misjudged the time, earlier.

At length, Okina entered.

"How much sake did Aoshi drink?"

"Well…he took a sip, and then started to go a little odd…"

"He did this on one sip?"

"After that he grabbed the rest and downed it, then…he…yeah."

"Makes a little more sense, at least."

He was curious as to what drove Aoshi to commit such a thing – Aoshi, those years ago, had described himself as still having his head through such thoughts.

Misao looked up. "What is it?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"MISAO! Misao!" Omasu came and poked her head in the room. "Guess what? There's a new resturaunt opened a few blocks away, and they've got Western foods! Would you like to come and try them?"

She was somewhat desperate for a change of pace, something to get the event off of her mind.

"Yeah…yeah, I would."

"Well, we'll get someone to carry you, and we'll be off!"

* * *

"Say it."

"I – can't."

Hiko looked at the man before him, the man who struggled to keep his cries in as tears streamed down his face. It was almost unbelievable that this man could be brought to this state. It was a change completely absent from his character beforehand.

"Well. I suppose we're going to have to work on that, then."


End file.
